that a few months can bring. If anyone would have told me that by 20 I'd be married and a mom I don't think I'd believe them. Starting a family isn't something I had planned to do for a few more years, but I've realized that you can't always plan out your life, and sometimes you just have to roll with the punches.
I'm glad that we've made this decision though. I know I never would have been able to forgive myself if we had chosen to go through with an abortion. It would've weighed heavily on my conscience every day and I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive myself for ending a life, especially now. I wouldn't trade in the painful kicks that take my breath away or figuring out that our little girl is using my ribs as a footrest for her tiny toes for anything in the world. Even the emotional roller coaster is rewarding in its own right. But I'm scared, too. I'm terrified of delivery. Absolutely scared out of my wits, but I know that I'll have an amazing support system there with me, and I'll be able to make it through. After that, I can only hope that I'll be a good mother.
It's been nearly two weeks that I've been married and it's really hard being apart. I thought it was tough before when we were just dating, but nothing compares to being apart now. Some days I know I need him to be there as much as he needs me, but for the next few month or two that just isn't possible. So for now it's being as supportive as possible over the phone and Skype (thank goodness for that!) and cherishing the time we get to spend together when we have it. But I know that after we get through the next few months that things will get better and we'll be with each other every day, raising our sweet little girl.
Next up for me...mommy blogging? We'll just have to wait and see...
